salam

there are two main reasons as to why im writing a new post. its because of a) i have nothing else to do or b) something is bothering me. this time, i’d pick b).

i know its unwise to bring up this matter, since the problem originated from my own personal fault, but im blogging in hopes that it would take it off my mind a bit. plus, a little chit chat from those who read this post would also be nice :)

its already 2 1/2 months since i set foot on Japan. yes, how time do fly. i just finished my mid semester exams last week, and the results of that particular “first exam” is whats currently bothering me..

frankly speaking, i didnt do well. at all. in other words (cruel some might even say), i -flunked- the exam. not just any particular paper, but the whole exam. to satisfy myself a bit more, this time im going to blame the education system. no worries, ill apologise in the end, and that is my promise.

okay, lets begin the blaming shall we? first of all, my course has a lot of free time, -too much- free time one might say. there are days with little subjects, but im not blaming that. as a student who doesnt enjoy free time right? what im blaming on is the curriculum. since i was in primary school, i always learned from my mistakes. teacher give out tests, i answer, wrong answers i correct them. but here, there are no tests whatsoever. not even a single piece of report. well there is actually, only that particular report take around 4 weeks before submission. sometimes i envy people, my friends at different tech colleges. words such as “arghh tension2~” and “minggu ni 3 report lagi~” are common to them. the reason why i envy them is that at least like it or not they have to do the reports and submit. in other words doing reports = involuntary learning. this affects my life a lot. i tend to feel so free, words like “yea2 xd report~” and “kesian korg ek byk kerja” are the words common to me. it is not until post exams that i finally realise the importance of such work, since i never study on my own..

now comes the apologising part. i did promise did i? actually its not the curriculum’s fault. its not even the teacher’s fault. its all about me. Allah mentioned in the Quran “Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” (chap 13, verse 11). either i change or nothing changes. i finally realise that during the 1st half of semester i was too hooked on social sites, in this case facebook. i have to thank my father for making me aware of my state. he did not tell me to stop facebooking or some sort, but his words melted deep into my heart. its amazing what advice i can give to people, yet even more amazing what my father can do to me. i do not know my fate from now on, but im struggling my hardest to score during the finals due in a month.

Allah guide me, for only You know what is best for me. amin..

ws